Who Do You Think You Are?
by CalzonaAddict81
Summary: First song-fic, Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri; Spoilers from 7x10. Comments appreciated, but I don't write fics often while I am still working on my other one…hoping I did alright. :D


**Title:** Who Do You Think You Are?  
**Author:** GreysAddict81

**Pairing:** Callie/Arizona  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Summary:** First song-fic – Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri; Spoilers from 7x10. Comments appreciated, but I don't write fics often while I am still working on my other one…hoping I did alright. :D

**Disclaimer:** All television shows, books, movies, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work and the characters, events, and settings thereof are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

___I knew Mark was down at Joe's. He said something about trying to get Lexie back and after our partial shower this morning, I knew he missed her like I miss Arizona. So I am left alone in the silence of this apartment rather than having drinks with Karev to celebrate my new beginning. I have to have a new beginning, there's no turning back, only looking forward. I had an awesome day fixing a hip…damn, even my vocabulary has been tainted by the one woman who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Oh wait, she left me in an airport a few months ago. As I served myself with some ravioli, the knock at the door shook me out of my temporary misery. I open it up only to find the most beautiful face I have ever known, with the blue eyes deep as the ocean, and I am rendered speechless. _

_"__Okay, so picture this: I'm in Africa and everything is great and the people are so nice and the clinic is amazing and I'm doing work that actually feels important. Like I can actually see that I am making a difference but I-I'm crying. Like constantly. And this guy that I worked with at the clinic finally asks me what's wrong and I tell him that I miss my girlfriend. Like, I really miss her. So he asks me if I want to go back, if they can replace me and then I open my mouth to say no but what comes out weirdly instead is yes. And so I did. I came back."_

_I know I can't take one more step towards you__  
__Cause all that's waiting is regret__  
__And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore__  
__You lost the love I loved the most__  
_

I stay right where I am at the door because I am not sure I can move any closer to her right now. I don't know what to say. I'm not even sure where to start. Two seconds ago, I was bitter by her absence in my life and now I am joyful that she is within arm's reach again. I want to hold her and ask if it's all a dream, but my feet stay grounded as if it is under my brain's orders even if my heart is screaming something else. I cannot just take her back and pretend nothing will happen. If I do, it might be something that will keep my barriers up later on.

___I learned to live half alive__  
__And now you want me one more time__  
__  
__And who do you think you are__  
__Running 'round leaving scars__  
__Collecting your jar of hearts__  
__And tearing love apart__  
__You're gonna catch a cold__  
__From the ice inside your soul__  
__So don't come back for me__  
__Who do you think you are__  
_

She left me. I had barely managed pick myself up off the floor and live everyday as it comes. It took a lot of effort to get to where I am today without her. She doesn't know but she took a massive part of me with her when she left and I am not sure I can take it back if she still has it.

George and Erica left me with a few cracks and dents, but she left me shattered in a million pieces. The look on her face and her words sliced through my soul back at that airport. For the first time, I saw how cold the warm, loving, adorable woman could be.

___I hear you're asking all around__  
__If I am anywhere to be found__  
__But I have grown too strong__  
__To ever fall back in your arms__  
_

I'm sure she had to ask around to find me here at Mark's apartment. Teddy knew I couldn't move back into my place just yet as Arizona and I sublet it. It took a lot for me to stand tall again and I just can't let her shred me to pieces again. I am strong. But looking into her eyes can melt me instantly and those walls almost start to dissolve.

___I learned to live half alive__  
__And now you want me one more time___

_And it took so long just to feel alright__  
__Remember how to put back the light in my eyes__  
__I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed__  
__Cause you broke all your promises__  
__And now you're back__  
__You don't get to get me back__  
_

She found me when I was broken and now she found me again when I am shattered to pieces. She made me feel better and I knew that with her I could do almost anything as long as she's by my side. I used to be light in her eyes and she used to be mine. Instead, she now causes the tears in my eyes that can only reflect the light rather than absorb it. Sometimes, I feel that if I did not ever kiss her in the dirty bar bathroom, I would not be here today. I won't be living off of Mark's couch, I won't be having a passive-aggressive attitude and I won't be living a lie.

___And who do you think you are__  
__Running 'round leaving scars__  
__Collecting your jar of hearts__  
__And tearing love apart__  
__You're gonna catch a cold__  
__From the ice inside your soul__  
__So don't come back for me__  
__Don't come back at all__  
_

As I come to process my thoughts, her words brought me from them. "You look really pretty." I don't know whether to be mad or be flattered at the moment. All I know is she left me. She left me in an airport for the money and the opportunity. She never made the decision with me, she made it for me. And now, she cannot make me take her back in this moment. So I do what my brain tells me to do, I close the door.

___Who do you think you are?__  
__Who do you think you are?__  
__Who do you think you are?___


End file.
